I freaking LOVE my Wednesday night group. LOVE it. One night, we were peeling back the layers what gets in the way of nourishing our bodies and giving them what they need. So much of our relationship with food isn’t about food. That was the case the night I gave this assignment. I gotta be honest, I’m constantly right on the line of my scope of practice because of this. What I love about my work is that I get to coordinate client’s care with their therapists. Let them know what came up, sometimes tell the clients to dive in deeper to an issue with their therapist, or get the “OK” from a therapist to discuss body image on a deeper level with a client so the therapist can do even deeper work (like trauma stuff) with the client. This journal prompt got taken back to many therapists. It was a hard one. Some are having a hard time working on theirs. This shit is hard! It’s REAL hard if you’re in a bigger body! Below, is what one of the women wrote. Shared with permission.
Welcoming the body that I live in.
There’s a disconnect between you and me. But there’s really not. I just say that sometimes when i get too into my head. Because people have made me feel like you’re “other” and not worthy and somehow not as good. But you and I are the same. You’re my home and I’m grateful to have you.
I’ve been kind of a bitch to you for a long time in my thoughts and in my actions and you’re just trying to keep a girl alive. Just trying to have fun and keep feeling. There’s so much judgment about you and it’s so weird because people talk about you and judge you as if I weren’t connected to you. As if we weren’t the same thing. I’ve internalized that and sometimes feel like I don’t really know what you look like and I try not to feel what you feel like.
That’s not our fault. The clothes that fit us don’t feel good, don’t look like what we’re “supposed to look like” in some way. It’s not our fault that people judge and make assumptions about our health and our character. But that doesn’t mean that we have to be dicks to each other. You’re what I’ve got and I’m all you’ve got and frankly, it could be so much fucking worse! You’re a good body and I’m trying to shed all the bullshit and be grateful for you. Imperfections are unique and interesting… while perfection is actually kind of creepy and scary… I don’t want to look like I’m made out of plastic.
You’re actually kind of a good time, when I stop thinking so much about how I’m supposed to think about you so much. I love the fun adventures we go on, I love that your help me do crafty things really well. You and I would totally kick ass in an apocalypse too! I’ve got super storage powers, I’ve got my own personal bunker and it’s you! We also have some pretty sweet skills and a rather durable physique.
I’m going to try and think of you now on like I do about puppies and kittens, fat cats in general, and lots of squishy stuffed animals. You’re so comfy and snuggly. And you’re so resilient, adaptable, and in spite of the whole weight stigma thing that we get from all sides, have so many traits and qualities that I fucking care about and find desirable beyond some ever changing, unattainable aesthetic.
Curious about my Wednesday group? Shoot me an email! There is a short wait list for the group geared to those in bigger bodies.
Wanna know where I got my photos? The first one is from Representation Matters, the best high-resolution, royalty-free stock image collection focusing on inclusion and diversity! The cat is my friend’s, sent in a message, used without permission. Cat treats to be provided upon next visit.