Finally a blog from Amy. I know, it’s weird. Many of you didn’t even know blogging was a thing for me. It really hasn’t been but I hope to be doing more of it as we head into the less sunny months. Today it’s sunny and I should be doing other things like tracking down money that insurance companies owe me but I really wanted to shared this AD I’m kinda cheating because my friend Shoog basically wrote this blog through their instagram post. So, thanks Shoog for your words that propelled me to want share past just instagram, twitter and facebook. And thanks for giving me the “OK” to post this on my blog.
I have some things to say.
I know many reading this think I’m out of my mind for being a fat positive dietitian, think I’m not actually helping people be healthy, think we need to eradicate the “obesity epidemic” and on and on. I get it, I really do. I had plans of being weight loss dietitian back in the day, so I know damn near every thing you could be thinking on fat. I used to have those thoughts and beliefs too. I’ll be sharing a video in the next couple months that will go through all the “yeah but what about diabetes and heart disease…? fat kills… it’s healthier to be thin…” stuff. But for now, you can think I’m crazy and disagree with anything you want.
That’s your choice.
If you want to assume that all people who are fat are lazy and just don’t care about themselves or their health, fine. You’re wrong, but fine. What really hurts my heart is how your views and beliefs on this translate. It translates to people, real people with SOULS JUST LIKE YOURS feeling unworthy, feeling unseen, feeling lonely.
I’ve followed Shoog’s work (amazing art and photography) for awhile but recently became friends and got to hang with them at my place. We had connected over several things but it was when I was explaining my composting toilet (you know, basic new friend chitchat) that they said something like, “We are the same!” It was so fun to learn all the things we had in common. Shoog is a gem of a soul and I wouldn’t have seen their soul back in the day when I had all my judgments about fat and people with it. I would have been distracted with trying to figure out how to “fix” them and make them “healthy.”
Today they shared a post that they were photographed in. How could you not be touched by this story in some way? I’ve heard the first part of this story MANY times in sessions with my clients. They have all been harmed by this mean, ruthless, fat phobic culture we live in. I often say that feel like a mama hen, wanting to take all my clients under my wings and protect them from all shit they face. It is my hope that each one of them can get to a place where like Shoog, they feel that worthiness and belonging that Shoog mentions. Please join me in judging less, saying less and listening more to marginalized folx. Let’s make more nests.
“I had a very lonely childhood.
I was kind of a weirdo.
It was either fat stuff or gender stuff.
People would always say “you’re gay, you’re a dyke” and I was not into being labeled. So, I would distance myself from them.
A memory that I often return to as a way to illustrate my childhood is….. ….It’s a Saturday morning and a lot of kids my age ( 9 or 10 ) are meeting up with their friends to hang out and play basketball. And, because I didn’t have any friends, I would go outside and fill my hands up with bird seed and sit next to the bird feeder perfectly still and I would wait. And, I just stayed out there waiting. And, on many Saturdays, I would sit next to that bird feeder just hoping a bird would land in my hands.
It was a deep loneliness.
I really wanted to feel some kind of acceptance.
I wanted to feel worthy.
I wanted to be seen as something natural.
I thought, if I stand here long enough, I’m going to prove to these birds that I’m not a harm. And, maybe one day they will come and trust me completely.
I really wanted to be something that would bring comfort for others.
And, I feel like I got to become that.
Not with birds….but with people. I have a lot of people around me now and that feels really special.
The people that reach out to me as a friend, artist, and photographer are people who have struggled just like me. I think that people can look at me and the way I express myself and see that I am someone that is easy to work with and I could relate to them.
Fat Folks want to be seen too and not by people who have once judged them. And, that’s all I really wanted as a young kid….was for someone to show me that I wasn’t freaky or weird, or unlovable. I’m trying to be that for myself and others now.
Being in the Nest was like being able to open my eyes and look around and see that I was completely surrounded by something that was holding my whole body. And, having a few moments of giving myself permission to feel really held and really special.” – Shoog @shooglet
If you wanna be a cool kid like me, support Shoog on Patreon! You’ll get some great stuff coming your way!